We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was
that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one
Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower."
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not. "Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since!
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25 , so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "You gave me too much money!"
I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give
me a dollar bill back. "She sighed and went to get the
manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said
“We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1.75 change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal
of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry , but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without
my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded. "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala
IDIOT SIGHTING #6:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I ex-
plained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING #7:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker leaving the
company due to "downsizing", Our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was
spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-
headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING #8:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, she couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less!
IDIOT SIGHTING #9:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from
the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi